Duped by Dinner

Dinner by Heston. It was probably the most anticipated restaurant opening of 2011; it was definitely our most anticipated meal of 2013. Were our expectations too high? Did the allure of Michelin stars and San Pellegrino Top 50 lists cloud our judgement? Whatever the case, we left thinking: ‘How on earth has this restaurant earned such a great reputation?’

It’s not the food that's the problem. It’s still ‘fearsomely expensive’ and, dare I say, over-rated. It’s rather the service that caused the whole evening to feel off kilter. Now, I’m no veteran of Michelin-starred establishments but, having been to a fair few, the service, at its worst, has always been discreet if a little formal. At its best it has elevated the evening and the dining experience. At Dinner, we often felt uncomfortable and at times downright harassed.

Imagine it’s the anniversary of a special occasion and as you raise your glasses for that celebratory toast, your waiter clumsily chimes in like a pissed wedding guest in the middle of the best man’s speech. Your gauche, French sommelier asks if you’d like to see the wine list and proceeds to hold on to it, so much so that you are forced to peer at it until he graciously hands it over. Why do that? This wine list caused the waiting staff much vexation. Surely they had more than one? Yet, each member of staff seemed intent on retrieving it from our grasp despite many protestations.

Add to this a dining room devoid of intimacy, the overwhelming feeling that every other table is more important than yours, the realisation that most people are here on business, staying in the Mandarin Oriental and have charged a steak and chips to their room – and the entire experience quickly lost its charm. Perhaps my account is a little revisionist, tainted by some not so rose-tinted glasses? Maybe we were just naive? But I expected more: the glowing reviews; the high standing; the endless superlatives.

I wish these were the only caveats and I could now utter as Jay Rayner did ‘Oh, but the cooking!’ It was very nice in parts but that obsessive compulsive attention to detail that Heston is always bragging about didn't materialise.

As per usual, we’d agonised over what to choose beforehand (this was after all a very expensive meal and we didn’t want to make any costly mistakes) so the choice of starters was already a foregone conclusion.

Ever since I saw Ashley Palmer-Watts cook the scallops and cucumber dish, it had made my shortlist. It was as I expected and no more: refreshingly clean with a lovely minerality from the scallops and seared cucumber and great acidity from the cucumber ketchup. This is really more about the cucumber than the scallops, treating the ingredient in ways that many will not have seen before. The best dish of the meal. The salamugundy was full of wonderful textural contrasts – slippery marrow studded with crispy chicken skin, crisp chicory, juicy chicken oyster.

The special of Royale of Beef (which brought to mind Pulp Fiction) with ox tongue, smoked anchovy and onion puree was a delicious exercise in savouriness with a great depth of flavour. The Turbot with cockle ketchup was expertly cooked and balanced. To be honest, I'm struggling for things to say. Whether it was a side effect of the service and ambiance or not, everything rang a bit hollow. Come to think of it, Jay Rayner's review must have also exerted some subconscious sorcery on us as we unwittingly chose exactly the same menu. Great minds...or maybe fools never differ.

If you happened to be staying at the Mandarin Oriental, it would however definitely be worth popping down for a dessert. The tipsy cake brought a smile to my face and the buttery, syrupy brioche pudding actually recalled of all things a krispy-creme pudding I'd had some weeks ago at a FireandSalt supper club. Bearing in mind the accompanying pineapple is roasted on what must be one of the world's most expensive spits, it has that air of overindulgence. The brown bread ice cream with salted butter caramel was malty, salty, sweet goodness that actually might have salvaged the meal.

So, an evening of highs and lows. The food might have disappointed less had we not been to Simon Rogan's new opening at The French in the same week. And I doubt we would have been so critical if the service were up to scratch. I'm wouldn't write the place off on the back of this one meal but at these prices I'm not hurrying to return. Frankly, there are better places in London to spend your hard-earned cash.

Heston's Chilli Con Carne

Cool Chile Co. do a fantastic range of ground and dried whole chillies, and are very reasonably priced.

Now, there are more recipes for chilli than I care to imagine and most home-cooks, never mind chilli cook-off veterans, have their own special additions. What I'm getting at is:  Heston's chilli recipe might not be to everyone's liking, and it's not the definitive chilli (as if such a thing existed), but it's a very good place to start. Plus, I'm not going to argue with a chef who's spent a good 20 years more than I have obsessing about food. Add chocolate, more spice, chipotle chiles, pinto beans, a splash of bourbon if you want - but follow the basic tenants of this recipe and you'll always have a great-tasting dish.

The keys to making a superior chilli are as simple as getting really good colour on your mince, brining the beans, and giving it a long cooking time. I remember not at all fondly the grey meat in a watery sauce with over-cooked beans and peppers that masqueraded for chilli in my childhood. Learning to cook the individual components so that they taste best is the key to creating a satisfying meal - and Heston's obsession with this fact is a great one to bring to your cooking.

It is quite an involved recipe - the addition of the store-bought peppers removes the need to char and de-skin peppers. The spiced butter can be omitted and you can instead fry the spices with the onions and add the ketchup etc. to the tomato and bean mix.

My recipe differs ever so slightly from Heston's (can't be too careful in the current climate):


For the kidney beans

10% Brine (e.g. dissolve 50g salt in 500g water)
150g Dried Kidney Beans
500g Cherry tomatoes w/vine attached


For the chilli

Oil (olive or groundnut)
500g Beef mince
1 Large Onion, peeled and diced
2 Star anise
1 Large carrot, peeled and diced
3 Cloves of garlic, peeled and crushed to a paste
2 Green chillies, de-seeded and finely chopped (add more if you wish)
2 tbsp Tomato Puree
375g Red Wine (optional, add more stock/water if leaving out)
3 Medium Tomatoes, diced
500g Beef Stock, good quality store-bought or homemade
Jar Piquillo peppers


Spiced Butter
2 tbsp Olive oil
1tsp each of chilli powder (ancho), cumin, chilli powder, ketchup
1/2 tsp Worcestershire sauce, Marmite
125g Unsalted butter, at room temperature


-The night before, make the brine and soak the dried kidney beans for 12 hours. Remove from brine and drain.

-To make the spiced butter, heat the olive oil and fry the dry spices in it for a few seconds then pour over the butter. Mix in the Marmite, ketchup, and Worcestershire sauce. Refrigerate. 


-Cook the cherry tomatoes in a pressure cooker (if you have one) for 20 minutes under full pressure with a splash of water. Remove from the heat, let the pressure cooker cool and wait for the safety plug to lower. Uncover then reduce the liquid by half over a high heat. Remove from the heat and add the vine to infuse. (If you don't have a pressure cooker, simmer covered until the tomatoes have disintegrated).

- Add the beans to this mixture (with vines removed) and cook in the pressure cooker for 20 minutes as per the tomatoes. Stir into the chilli at the end to warm through.

Pressure-cooked kidney beans

- Heat a thin layer of oil in a large saucepan until just smoking, then brown the mince in batches until a deep brown colour. Remove and drain of excess fat. Deglaze the pan with a little water and scrape with a wooden spoon to remove any stuck bits of meat. Add this to the mince.

Browned mince

- Add a little olive oil to the pan then add the star anise and onions, frying until the onions take on some colour. Then add the carrot, chilli and garlic. Cook until softened. Add the tomato puree and cook out (you can tell by the smell). Pour in the red wine (if using) and reduce by two-thirds.

-Add the cooked mince, diced tomatoes, and stock then simmer for 2-3 hours. Check seasoning, stir in the piquillo peppers, bean/tomato mixture and the spiced butter. Top with cheese, sour cream and lime zest .

The end result (minus garnishes).